Fimbulvetr

Nevermore

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Arête & Tywin

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Private BRINGER OF WAR. (SC)

#1
In the aftermath, standing in the freshly bloodied snow and ruined feathers in a haze of pain, she knew. It was like a bolt of lightning had struck her the moment the mighty Espen had fallen. Even though the great ursine god had been slain, they could not - she could not - let the lupine demon win. Fenrir had won the battle, but the beast certainly had not won the war. Deep in her bones, Antiope knew this would not be the end of things and certainly not the last time the equines of the land would see the bloodthirsty god.

And while those who had fight admirably alongside her had limped away to tend to their wounds, the grizzled warrior melted back into the shadows she had swooped in from. Antiope had laid low, moving about the land as stealthily as one of her size could as her own wounds clotted, scabbed, and healed. Wolves ran rampant in the valley now, riding the high of the lupine demon's victory. Winter had assaulted all corners of the valley like an iron fist; the bitter, vile cold stealing the breath from the lungs of those less fortunate. Snowstorms howled often, blinding those that sought the safety of the houses. Yet, Antiope knew that despite their promises, they were not truly safe. Not with the looming threat of death hanging over their heads. If the cold did not snatch them as they slumbered, then the jaws of a wolf would. Their only saving grace was that the sovereigns that had seen the battle knew what they faced. Would they prepare their houses to withstand the storm? Would they rally and fight for the fallen Espen?

Those questions burned in her mind for days. Once she was healed enough, her sights turned on a rather particular target. He who had also been there to witness the carnage, but had arrived vexingly late.  Decked in virginal steel, his men had never left his side. Loyal to a fault, Antiope mused. They had hardly let the sovereign fight for himself. A pity. A leader needed to know how to fight. Instead, his bannermen coddled him. He had come with bannermen with blood already spilled upon the frozen tundra, then left as swiftly as he had come. A House was only as strong as its leader...and Antiope did not see strength. She saw a weakness; one that would cripple those most vulnerable. A weakness that could only bring more death.

Snow crunched underneath Antiope's hooves. She had opted to travel by foot instead of fly, as the early snow squall would have made her snowblind. Besides, traveling by foot offered the seasoned mare a better opportunity to see what the Ambrosius Holdings had what the other Houses could not offer. As the patron House of Espen, Antiope had high expectations and she certainly was not disappointed. A part of her wished the weather had been kinder to allow her to soar around its peaks, but she knew that was a desire for another day.

Today was destined to be far greater.

The champagne and bronze pegasus rolled her shoulders, ignoring the pull of freshly healed scars. The pink ropes of flesh puckered along her wings and shoulders as a stark reminder of the blood she had spilled to protect the fallen God. They had joined the plethora of other scars of various ages that peeked out from underneath the weathered armor that protected Antiope's frame. Her burgundy cloak hung heavily across her back and shoulders, gently fluttering in the icy breeze as she stood atop a craggy outcropping. She had come to seize destiny by the throat. She would be their defender, their champion, until her very last breath if they would have her.

She would do anything to return Espen to his rightful place.

"I have come for the child who calls himself a King," she called, her deep tenor echoing across the vacant snowy peaks. Let the souls who might still linger hear her; let them know who had come. A hardened expression sticks fast upon Antiope’s scarred face, her stance rigid, yet prepared. The muscles underneath her gold and bronze coat coiled, ready for action. The itch for combat only fed her adrenaline. "I come for your kingdom! Will you answer my call?" She roared, her voice growing progressively louder as the gargantuan mare remained still. She would not let her adrenaline get the best of her - not yet. "Or will you flee again?"

tagged: Caelian
notes: A challenger appears! :o
"Speech!" Thoughts!

image | coding
Tag: @[Antiope]

#2
"NO!" Erupted through the air like a gunshot, bouncing off of the magnificent snow-laden peaks lining the Frozen Shore. A charcoal-freckled stallion pushed through heavy snow yet seemed to get nowhere as he sunk to his shoulders, extending his neck and roaring with determination. Around him, horses lay dying or screaming in agony as they collapsed into piles of snow. Before him, the white bear Espen choked on his own blood, his neck slit. The virgin snow underfoot was ensanguined with the gore of battle. A wolf stood over him, growling, a wicked smile decorating his stained lips. Red saliva fell from his simper and mixed with the fur of the bear god. As Fenrir unhinged his mouth, darkness poured from the gap such as smoke from a fire. Much like a snake, he snapped forward with sudden speed and accuracy, plunging dagger-like teeth deep into Espen’s flank. When merciless eyes snapped up, they locked straight upon Caelian's, and he felt an intense, overwhelming burning within his chest as if standing within the centre of a thousand lapping flames. An anguished roar broke from his lips as he whipped his head high above soft flakes, the wounds upon his eyes burst and sprayed silver blood upon snow and fur alike. He was in deep suffering.

Caelian awoke with a great start, sweat beaded along his hide. He swallowed hard but found his mouth inenarrably dry. He coughed, his eyes squeezed shut and his nose wrinkled with his lips parted to reveal small canines. His face contorted in an expression of excruciating pain, he tried to rid his mind of the nightmare he'd experienced. He was forevermore guilt-ridden and grave, plagued with the fallen body of Espen. These memories had only snowballed with a thousand others, lending to the insanity the sovereign now faced. Smiles never seemed to grace his soft lips, and if one did happen to appear, it was quite unpleasant. The bustling halls of Ambrosius had quieted down; sober expressions had settled upon the inhabitants of the land. It seemed as if they reflected their leader, and as he fell into a pit of darkness so did they.

Roaming the territories of his land became one of his favourite pastimes as he strived to rid himself of the guilt closing around his heart. Each piercing thought made his heart drop as did his head. Lythe, his sister. Deserting her when he left Atnion was one of the biggest decisions he'd ever made, and he wondered how he'd torn her apart. Ragnor, Nevermore, his two best friends, both gone now. Iracebeth, Kagura, Lunafreya, the friends he'd met that he let down. He sighed gently, his eyes tracing the blurry lines of cliffs sketched upon the horizon, his breath clouded before him. The grey stallion didn't know how to feel; darkness had overtaken his mind.

When a maiden timidly approached him, he found himself biting his tongue at the thought of snapping at her. However, she carried interesting news that sent that shadow within him into action. A stranger had slowly approached from the the region of the Frozen Shore, proving to be a challenger for the throne. He listened closely to the words from the maiden as she directly quoted this new threat. For a singular moment, confusion writ itself upon Caelian's features, but within seconds, it was replaced with a deep sense of hatred. He growled into the frosty air as the messenger made her escape, her eyes filled with worry at the prospect of a battle. "I stopped being a child the day they sent me here to die," fell upon cold silence.

The king's face flushed with anger as he whipped his head in the direction pointed out to him, his teeth bared in disgust. With elegance and grace, he briskly lept into a canter, speeding up into a run before reaching the place where Antiope stood. Stopping with a great skid that sent snow flying, he walked the rest of the way to the clearing, his hooves clipping against stone as he stepped upon a tilted rock that overlooked the scarred warrior daring to challenge his rule. Flattening his ears at the sight of her, he nearly spat at the golden champagne coat that decorated her muscular frame. He held back the urge to retort about cowardice. She had no right. She understood nothing of him or his intentions, yet there was no need for strong words if this was to be a battle. He temporarily delighted in the fact that he'd be able to singe the stoic expression right off of her battle-worn face.

Taking one step closer, he let a soft growl escape his throat, announcing his approach. Unless, she was deaf, she'd already have heard him coming. "Welcome to the lands of Ambrosius," his speech sang with poison as he poised himself, lowering his neck slightly and glittering with hatred. He tilted his head slightly, raising his eyebrows in a mock expression of interest, his speech dripping with venom, "Enjoy the scenery?"


[ tags ] Antiope
[ words ] 843
[ ooc ] oof wow

Stock: HumbleBeez | Nathan Anderson | Tom Barrett
Table and Coding: Raven

Tag: @[Caelian]

#3
She would be the first to admit she had not always been a devoted follower of deities. Antiope had turned her back on the ethereal creatures that claimed to be Gods for a time. After all, why should she follow them when all they brought her was anguish? Not once did they aide her in her times of need, but yet called upon her to sacrifice time and time again. Antiope had shunned them in anger and lived life the way she thought was right. Antiope knew that to protect those who could not fend for themselves - to be the shield and the sword against the wraths of gods and mortals alike - had always been some part of her destiny.

The champagne and bronze pegasus had found her footing in Caeleste. The Gods welcomed Antiope back into their fold, bestowing upon her gifts of great power. Gifts to better protect those Antiope championed for. She had even had a crown for a time, but it did not fit right. It was not the right crown nor the right place, perhaps not even the right time. However, things had clicked into place as soon as her hooves had met new soil. Even though she did not know her path yet, Antiope knew she had come where she belonged. The land sang an ancient primordial song that was achingly familiar yet frustratingly obscure; it called to her like a siren, drawing her deep into the heart of the valley.

Quaking tundras, a God in need, and troublesome lupines that no longer hid in the shadows had only cemented Antiope's resolve.

A lifetime of experiences had taught Antiope patience. Hardly perturbed by the wait for the young sovereign's arrival, she did not move from her perch. Antiope could bide her time, having taken part in such a dance quite a few times in her lifetime. The king called Caelian would come or he would not. Though he was certainly young and likely inexperienced, he did not strike Antiope as foolish enough to run away. He did seem just foolish enough to come running to her spitting fire and promises of brutality.

He certainly did not disappoint her prediction.

If looks could kill, the pegasus knew she would have been eviscerated upon sight. Such anger. Burning crimson orbs, like two chipped pieces of garnet, glittered from underneath the battle-tested steel that encased her skull. The blood in her veins thrummed as her adrenaline spiked, pleased to see the young boy did not leave her wanting and disappointed. Despite her own adrenaline, she waited. Patient and composed, Antiope merely stared back at the boy with two undecipherable pools of garnet.

"Quite." A concise answer, if rather blunt, rasped in her gravelly voice. Why else was she here, if not for the lands and for destiny? Well, there was more - there was always more - but she would not play his game of idle chatter. Antiope did not come to spar with words. She had come to the holdings of Ambrosius with a goal in mind and would not leave with an unrealized dream. Reaching to one shoulder, the mare deftly unclipped the weathered cloak from her shoulders. It fell from a heavy rush of burgundy cloth, though she made no move to bundle it away. It would still be there once the battle was over or it would be ruined, it made no difference to Antiope. The steel that caged Antiope's frame shone a dark grey, nearly as dark as the stone of the mountains around them.

"You know why I'm here, so let's cut the stalling tactics. Shall we?"

Without waiting for an answer, Antiope's frame suddenly moved. Adrenaline and determination was a dangerous cocktail that burst into Antiope's veins, energizing her as she moved. Like a coil released, the mare's muscular frame launched from her stony outpost in a flurry of steel and feathers as her hooves scraped on stone. Antiope came crashing down, having used her wings to give her an extra push as she took off and to aid in her descent. Instead of aiming for a full frontal assault, the pegasus had shifted to the side of Caelian. Hoping to use the descent to her advantage, the pegasus attempted to hurl her weight upon Caelian in an attempt to slam the youthful sovereign. Antiope would not draw blood yet...but the battle was still early.

tagged: Caelian
BREAKDOWN:

Attacks: 1/5
Defense: 0/2

Summary: Antiope unexpectedly launches from where she is standing, hoping to use the moment of surprise to her advantage. Using her wings to guide her as she descends, Antiope aims to body slam Caelian as she lands.

"Speech!" Thoughts!

image | coding
Tag: @[Antiope]

#4
As long as Caelian had known, there were no gods, no deities to watch over the customs of the people under the heavens, no otherworldly being reigning sovereign above all. Then, when he was driven to his limits, when he had fallen from Atnion and found the Slidr Valley, all of a sudden there were gods. The first god that the freckled man learned of was the bear god, Espen, and his hold over the territories of the north. Not long after, he had stumbled upon the nymph of the North, a fantastical creature blessed with the magic of the land. Within months, he had discovered that yet another deity existed in this land, the wolf-beast Fenrir. Not always a god, the terrible creature just recently ascended to the throne.

Caelian had witnessed it; the world had quivered that day. Mountains rumbled, and rivers bubbled to their brims as the Frozen Shore shattered beneath the paws of two deadly beasts. He had been summoned to assist the patron god of his House, to lead his people into battle for the grandeur of Espen. He had done as he thought best for the good of his House. He had served the white bear, yet it was already too late. Fate had come to the deity; it had been time for his reign to end, even if not all in the Valley accepted it.

The Ambrosius sovereign hadn't; however, there was nothing he could do against the great powers of Fenrir. Caelian had led his House back to the Holdings to mend their wounds and restore their spirits. Maybe his actions had lead to this moment, his fright of the wolf god and the minions that swarmed his feet. The words that escaped his maiden's mouth, the words of Antiope, drifted back into his ears for a singular moment, "Will you flee again?" She thought him weak, there was no other explanation for her arrival.

Her raspy voice broke through the clearing, answering his question in her blunt manner. Idiocratic and indolent were his only thoughts upon her as he took in her armour and scars, even if they were false illusions of her true nature. She moved to her cloak, unclipping it and letting the weathered cloth cascade heavily to the snow-laden grass below. Turning carmine eyes back upon the contrasting ocean blue and silver of Caelian's, her pale lips parted for malefic words. Tension strung between the two like a cord drawn thin, and instantaneously, scissors cut through.

Muscles tensed at the movement of the towering mare before him. The gold of her unfurling wings flashed in his working eye, steel catching against cold winter sun. Her gigantic form crashed down upon him as he found himself holding his breath, muscles colliding as their bodies made contact for a single moment. The force and weight behind such as mare sent the lithe sovereign into the air, heart dropping at the sudden absence of rock. Twisting strangely in the air, his front hooves collided horribly with the softened ground, knees buckling slightly as Caelian nearly lost his balance, huffing a short breath into the thin breeze as he momentarily lost her in the dead gaze of his right eye. Perturbed by the sudden attack, anger burned fiercer within his chest. There was only one way to fight a fire: with fire. A growl erupted from his throat as wings unfurled from the base of his shoulders, gathering as they extended into the air, a great mass of darkness and feathers. Electricity danced along the tips of each quill, leaping and building as each millisecond passed. Within moments, the darkness that gathered around the freckled stallion’s body as wings were quickly lit with the fervour of a thousand jolts of lightning.

Caelian did not wait for the mare. With the strength that coursed in his veins, he powerfully brought his wings together before his body, clapping them in front of his face, a great gust of wind and electricity jointing to form a powerful bolt, aimed straight at the golden pegasus standing only a few feet away from him. The faint smell of burnt hide filled the air as a small part of electricity burned his skin, causing him to wince slightly. He flapped once, drifting into the air for a second as his wings melted away into the breeze.



[ tags ] Antiope
[ words ] 732
[ ooc ]

attacks : 1/ 5
dodges : 0/ 2
sum : caelian attempted to fire a medium-sized bolt of electricity straight at antiope. if it hits, the steel across her body will easily conduct the bolt

Stock: HumbleBeez | Nathan Anderson | Tom Barrett
Table and Coding: Raven

Tag: @[Caelian]

#5
She turned in the air as her trajectory sent her sailing towards her opponent, aiming to throw the boy off balance. To seriously maim one who was not a true enemy was never Antiope's goal. Avoiding catastrophic injuries and death had always been some of  Antiope's more redeeming traits; honorable to some, a frustration to others. Another ruthless slaying would only harm the overall plan. It would only feed into the chaos Fenrir and his minions had sowed into the valley. The Houses needed all the bodies they could get to face the coming darkness. So, if she could avoid further crippling the young sovereign, Antiope would consider that a win. Besides, she was not here to beat the youth into the ground.

She was here to usurp him. Antiope was here to wrest control of Ambrosius from him and to shield the barely-there kingdom. Seeing Espen, a God who should not have even died, fall into the icy depths of the far North had only compelled Antiope to fast-track her ambitions. The patron House of Espen would need all the strength it could to face the lupine fiend and the wolves that lurked in the shadows. An experienced ruler would be one of those strengths; one who was battle tested and had worn a crown before. Antiope was determined to emerge victorious in not only her objective of becoming the newest Ambrosius sovereign but also as Espen's champion.

Yet, Antiope would be remiss to not admit that there was a sense of satisfaction that bloomed in her chest when lean muscle met the poor boy. Caelian careened away from her, lost in the air from the strength of the hit for just a moment. Even as he twisted and turned, trying to seek purchase on the stony ground to right himself, Antiope did not linger to admire her handiwork. The champagne mare remained on the move to remain a harder target to hit, as her size was a disadvantage in that aspect. With her wings pinned tight to her sides to protect the limbs, Antiope slunk around their makeshift battleground like a jungle cat, sleek and predatory along the clearing. Adrenaline continued to burn in her veins as garnet pools watched anger consume the sovereign. It made her inwardly snort. Did he expect her to be patient and let him go through his whole spiel of taunts? The mere idea of such absurdity made a sneer twist Antiope's lips.

Let today be lesson number one, then. Perhaps next time he would not be caught off guard and knocked off his hooves.

Her critical eye bought her time, but not enough of it. It was almost like time slowed as the air seemed to crackle around Caelian, her legs refusing to move any faster to get her out of the way. Whether it was a blessing by a deity or just quick thinking, Antiope found footing to twist away from the bolt as it came at her...Well, mostly. Rather than striking Antiope headlong, the bolt of electricity catches the mare's hip as the pegasus deftly pirouetted away. The current ripped through her quickly, though not without tearing a great roar from her throat as pain coursed through her frame. Aided by her steel plating, Antiope could hear her own fur singe where the steel dug into her skin and the sizzle of skin burning. The mare grit her teeth, ignoring the burns her own armor was leaving behind. Injuries are of little importance right now; after all, her wounds would heal and any scars left behind would tell a story. As long as she remained intact and alive, that is all that matters.

With the scent of burnt fur and skin filling her nares, the pegasus gave a quick shake to wrestle free of the aftershock tremors. Ignoring the painful bite of her burns, Antiope wheeled around onto Caelian. If that's how he wants to play, so be it. Instead of charging him a second time, Antiope feinted to Caelian's right side. She drew close before planting her hooves, lifting her powerful frame up in a rear. Reaching over the young stallion's withers, she opened her mouth to bear her pearly white teeth before striking. Her jaw makes an audible click as it clamped down as she tried aiming for the top of Caelian's neck. Using gravity to her advantage, Antiope pulled as she let her front hooves return to the ground. The pegasus gnashed her teeth and pulled, hoping to drag the sovereign with her. With any luck, she may have rent a hole in his neck when she bit down and ripped back.

tagged: Caelian
BREAKDOWN:

Attacks: 2/5
Defense: .5/2

Summary: Antiope takes Caelian's electrical bolt to the hip, lessening the severity of the strike but still suffers from burnt skin and burns due to her steel armor. There are more severe burns were her armor digs into her flesh that will require healing after the battle. In her attack, Antiope keeps in close quarters: coming along Caelian's right side, she rears before striking with her teeth. Hoping to bite down upon his neck, Antiope pulls back as she returns to the ground. With luck, Antiope aims to cause an injury to Caelian's neck.

"Speech!" Thoughts!

image | coding
Tag: @[Antiope]

#6
The light that had escaped his feathered appendages temporarily flashed in his right eye. As if he’d stared straight at the sun, Caelian was temporarily blinded by the bright blue spot that swam in his working vision. He took a careful step back, his right eye darting as his dead eye followed, yet saw nothing but the brightness that had overtaken his view. Her roar of pain was satisfactory enough; he did not need to see his mark hit if he could hear it. The tint of burning flesh filled the air with a horrible stench, yet the fight went on.

As the blue faded from his eye, he’d lost her. Then, he saw her dart towards his right side. Her mistake was already done, he’d seen her. He twisted back as she reared high into the air, towering above his smaller frame. The speed of her bite, however, was too quick for him to retreat. The clamping of her teeth around his neck gave him a temporal fright, and he felt her sink into the wound caused by his first meeting with the wolves of Fenrir. He felt the trickle of hot, silver blood fall down his shoulder, reopening an old wound and no doubt filling her mouth with both the hair of his mane and the blood of his half-healed scar.

Teeth gritted in a pained groan as his breath escaped into the air, fatigue gathering upon him. The electricity that coursed through his veins from his previous attack faded, but naught did his speed. As he fell towards the ground, being pulled off his hooves by the grip on his neck and slipping in the wet grass slickened by a layer of snow, his eyes landed upon a nearby rock lazily hidden by the weather. His body thudded against the ground, covering his side in a slick wet. His head did not hit softly, and his vision swam for a moment, though he still continued to keep eye contact upon the small stone. With ease, he lifted the stone with his mind and threw it at Antiope, aiming for the gap between the armour upon her face, close to her eye. The stone, though small, was sharp and would possibly cut through the skin upon her scarred features, if not reaching her eye, as well.



attacks : ⅖
dodges : 0/2
sum : antiope’s teeth slipped into the wound that ran all along caelian’s neck, lodging them deep enough as to prevent them from ripping any hole out of his neck, but the force of the pull caused him to slip from his feet and open the wound further, as well as cause him to become lightheaded for a moment. in his defense, he lifted a rock through telekinesis and threw it at antiope’s face while she still held his neck


[ tags ] Antiope
[ words ] 388
[ ooc ] maybe caelian and i can have matching concussions xD

Stock: HumbleBeez | Nathan Anderson | Tom Barrett
Table and Coding: Raven

Tag: @[Caelian]

#7
There's a distinct charred scent that filled her nares, one that is sickeningly familiar. Antiope knows it is from her own skin, intermingled with the burnt hair of Caelian. Her logic tells her that it is her own scent, that of her opponent, but for a brief moment...panic claws at the forefront of her mind. Though it lasted for only a few seconds, her past swam before her: Kythira burning, its people screaming in agony with the clashing of steel and bone in the distance. She can smell the overwhelming stench of death that permeated the air, the taste of ash and copper heavy in her mouth, the broken bodies heaped everywhere while rivers of blood ran down cobblestone streets. Flashes of her own body running through the streets, slipping on the slick stones as Antiope scrambled, praying to every deity she could that just maybe, maybe they were okay ---

Antiope violently jerked, releasing Caelian as the boy slipped in the mushy snow and slick grass. Her mind is too far lost in the agonizing memories and past terrors to watch him flounder in the mush as the young king tried to make footing on to something, anything, in order to right himself. She doesn't see the rock fly towards her face; the logical part of her mind registered the danger, albeit as minimal as it was. It caught the steel of her faceplate, scraping along the metal as the stone lost its momentum. It continued along its trajectory, the screech of stone on metal enough for her logical brain to start screaming at her - Do something! Antiope hardly registered the stinging pain as the rock found flesh for a brief moment before disappearing beyond her. The sharp burst of pain slammed the muffled voice of her subconscious to the forefront of her mind, no longer content to let the former warrior be swallowed by her past terrors.

Wake up, you fool! Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!

With a gut-wrenching bellow, the pegasus lashed out at the hallucinations to free herself from the post-traumatic episode. Her front hooves come down in a stomp, aiming to strike a blow on whatever part of Caelian's body that may happen to still be within harm's way. Bone or muscle, limb or throat, none of it mattered to Antiope. Her aggression did not waver as her mind suddenly cleared and brought her to the present. If anything, she only became enraged. She was not here to play games and her willingness to not seriously maim the boy was starting to dissipate with every pitiful attempt of an attack he sent at her. The golden and bronze mare leaned forward, looking to put her weight on whatever part of Caelian's body she may have landed on to potentially pin the sovereign down. Antiope hummed while burning garnets stared at Caelian, tilting her head slightly to one side. "There is no shame in admitting defeat," she husked as a feathered appendage reached forward, presenting the steeling claw that pointed forth from her wing armor. Her wing extended so that steel point might meet soft flesh, though never relaxed, hoping to split whatever it found purchase on.

tagged: Caelian
BREAKDOWN:

Attacks: 4/5
Defense: 1/2

Summary: While lost in a PTSD episode, Antiope doesn't register Caelian's thrown rock coming at her. Though Caelian's hit lands where he aimed, her faceplate slows the blow (half dodge here!). His rock does scratch across one of her eyes. The wound is enough to "wake" Antiope from her PTSD episode.

1.) Antiope lashes out aggressively in a stomp with both front hooves. She is attempting to stomp on whatever body part of Caelian that still might be within reach before he gets off the ground, before leaning her weight on her front hooves in an attempt to pin Caelian to the ground.

2.) If her pinning of Caelian is successful, Antiope reaches with a wing in an attempt to stab or scratch Caelian's flesh with the sharp pointed end of her wing armor.

"Speech!" Thoughts!

image | coding
Tag: @[Antiope]

#8
Being this close to his challenger, the stench of burning flesh was overwhelming, and Caelian felt his stomach twist in a revolting way. He felt the grip upon his neck as tension swam through his body, the moment frozen in time as his telekinetic rock travelled slowly towards its mark. For a moment, the freckled stallion was suspended in a memory, a memory once again recalling the fateful day when the lupines of Fenrir took their revenge upon the valley, upon the equines, and upon him. He felt a phantom ache in his left eye, the scars that decorated his handsome face. He wondered if the mare would suffer the same fate.

Suddenly, the tension upon his neck ceased, and the connection between the two was broken. The winged mare dropped away from his pained body, rising above his lithe frame once again with a roar. He felt silver blood drip off his shoulder and into the scuffed and mushy snow below, mud painting his obsidian coat. He could not wait. As her hooves came crashing down, wings once again burst off his back and he pummeled the air, causing great gushes of wind to circle around the horse before him. As he lifted before her, he aimed to plant his polished hind hooves sharply upon her chest in hopes of pushing her away, bruising her, and giving himself an extra boost into the air. He drifted away, but he did not go far. Hovering above her, he looked down at her with a sense of scorn, hatred, and a hint of curiosity.

”Why are you doing this?” he asked her, his voice betraying the anger within him as he sat on the verge of shouting, her comment of defeat pushing him on. He took a breath, trying to control the rolling thunderstorm that threatened to burst. ”What reason do you have to take away the comfort of my people? These are dark times, should we not stand together as horses rather than battle each other for feeble reasons?” Underneath him, snow swirled in the vortex of wind that he created, revealing dead grass underneath. The winter had suffered the land, as well as its inhabitants. Should not these sufferers unite rather than rage conflict against each other? But as Caelian pondered over what he said, did he really believe it? He thought of his battle with Andante on the borders of his House. He thought of the anger that pulsated through his veins then, at the discovery of one that should not be where he was. Why had he been so close to their territories, anyway? It caused the king of Ambrosius to wonder what Tryggr had in plan for their future. Did Tryggr want war with the northern lands, or was it he whom had acted awry?


[ tags ] Antiope
[ words ] 475
[ ooc ]

⅗ attacks left
½ dodges left

caelian rolls out of the way of her falling hooves, rising up on his phantom wings once again and aiming to kick her hard in the chest with his hind legs for a further propelling into the air, also hoping to bruise her

Stock: HumbleBeez | Nathan Anderson | Tom Barrett
Table and Coding: Raven

Tag: @[Caelian]

#9
She blinks. There is a dip in the energy as their adrenaline wanes and exhaustion begins to settle in. A shift in the air draws a heavy tension across their makeshift battleground, wrapping around them like a thick, stifling blanket. For a moment, everything is calm as if time itself has stilled. Nothing stirs in the trees or brush around them: Antiope found that all that fills the sloshy, muddy arena and her own ears are her own breaths. Hers is hard, the exertion of her attacks evident as great puffs of white curl and cloud around her steel-plated skull. A fragile silence holds them, though how long it will last is unknown to Antiope. She is hyper-aware of her own energy finally beginning to dwindle and her vision swimming for a moment, righting itself despite the burning pain of blood dripping into her right eye. At least she still had her vision, so it seemed. A trickle of blood begins to run down her cheek. It drips from underneath the steel that protects her cheek, following along her jowl before sloping down to her neck. It follows the path of Antiope's throat, running along the thick muscles that shift under her golden flesh as her head pulls away from Caelian. A few drops splatter upon the snow, mixing with grass and mud.

Then it seemed as though life roared back to life; as if time restarted once more, propelling them back into the throng of chaos. It was as if Antiope suddenly remembered her anger, her ambition, her desires. A transformation radically morphs the mare's features into something sharp and predatory, her crimson gaze flashing dangerously. Her teeth gnashed as her irritation spiked, ready to end this farce of a battle once and for all. All Caelian gets from Antiope is a grunt of discomfort as he shoves away from her, using his hooves to give himself the extra push to flee to the skies. Her hooves dig into the sloppy earth that was churned beneath her, steading her footing as his hooves dug into her broad chest. Antiope's frame rocks, but she does not stumble. She stands there, staring at the young sovereign with a bewildered expression for a moment. That was it?

What a poor choice to make when your opponent could also fly. Did no one tutor this boy on how to fight? An indignant chortle rattles Antiope as she shook her head. "You are not my king. I owe you nothing."

Muscles coiled under gold and bronze as the mare shoved away from the sodden muck. Great golden wings unfurl before lifting her athletic frame off the ground, flashing the fresh pink scars left behind by Fenrir's minions along her shoulders and wing joint. Antiope soars up, unperturbed by his juvenile rantings. Surely they're beyond this by now, but it seemed as though he was still stuck on it. Unfazed, the pegasus hovers before Caelian but remains out of reach. "Yet since you seem to be hard of hearing, or perhaps even dense, let me help you," the mare drawls tiredly, though ire adds venom to her words. Her goal is to rattle him, to draw him into actually striking her. No more fancy light shows and magic tricks. "I have come for your crown, your mountains, your skies. I have come to be the shield the people of Ambrosius need. To give them the strength you clearly lack."

Antiope twists, flying away from hovering before Caelian's face as a bark of laughter peals from her lips. It is humorless and dark, devoid of all emotion save for contempt, showing she's not enjoying the pointless stalling. "Feeble? Such a bold declaration from an incompetent king," Antiope taunts, gliding around him. Despite her languid flying, her garnet pools never waver from Caelian with a near penetrating stare. If the heat of her gaze could leave marks, she likely would have seared holes into the poor boy by now. Suddenly she is before him once more, but closer. Antiope now hovered before Caelian face-to-face, nearly so close that they could bump noses.

"It was not I who turned tail and ran away from Fenrir before Espen's blood could freeze."

tagged: Caelian
notes: Edited for 2 words I missed because I'm a dummy. LOL
BREAKDOWN:

Attacks: 4/5
Defense: 1/2

Summary: Takes the full brunt of Caelian's kick off her chest. Does not attack or dodge, but instead uses the rest of her post as a "breather" and to taunt Caelian.

"Speech!" Thoughts!

image | coding
Tag: @[Antiope]

#10
A sense of satisfaction flooded over Caelian as his hooves connected with her chest, pushing her away from him and allowing bruises along her front. Though a weaker attack, it still gave him great pleasure seeing her pain. Her expression is almost sarcastic, it said one thing: was that it? As he floated away, hovering fifteen feet above the ground, he nearly sneered, you wait, old hag. I’m only getting warmed up.

But he could tell the battle was waning. She was tired, her breaths coming out in great clouds of condensation as his were much smaller, but still, he was breathing hard. Her first statement in response to him was almost pathetic, he nearly laughed as she chortled. A smile played his dark lips, his eyes narrowing on her larger frame, her scarred wings lifting her muscled body easily to meet him face to face in the sky.

He listened hard to her useless droning, before snapping back, “I think it is you who are too vacuous to hear my questions. I did not ask you to repeat your ill-witted sentences. Is it beyond you to think so deeply? Why are you here, coward who won’t even speak her own name? It is clear you think me weak, but what such action have I done to give you this idea?” The old voice in the back of his head echoed, repeating a long lost statement, I will make you stronger. He almost laughed at what he had been before the darkness had taken him.

Dark, humourless laughter snaps through the chill air, loud and awful, causing Caelian to pin his ears. As his eyes watch her closely, he remained calm, cool as the fire within him iced over into a frosty silence. His cold heart burns with a different flame. While she fights with fire, he fights with something far stronger. His hooded, blazingly cold eyes burn into hers as they nearly bump noises, and her last words drift into his ears. A small chuckle burst from his throat, a smile found his face. “A fool you think I am, but oh great warrior, come to take the throne from the sad boy who calls himself a king, come to give the Ambrosius people what they need, a competent ruler, a strong ruler, for their current ruler obviously lacks such things.” His sneer was bitter as ice. “Oh great challenger, stronghold and saviour of the peoples of the north, do you not realise the words escaping your mouth?” He leans closer still, their eyes blazing in the fires of each other, her crimson stark against the oceans and silvers of his own. The smile suddenly drops from his face, his eyes turn colder than the deepest pits of ice, and his voice drops to a threatening tone. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with.”

With that, he leaned back, drifting away from her so a foot rested between their hovering bodies, wings nearly beating each other as he stared down his nose at her, regal as ever. His breathing regulated, taking in the chill air as it gave him new life, new energy to pound her out of the sky; yet, he did not. He was waiting either for the perfect opportunity, or for her to make a move of her own. “Espen did entrust me to his throne for a reason.” Caelian said, almost sing-song like as a sneer found his lips once more.


[ tags ] Antiope
[ words ] 600
[ ooc ]

⅗ attacks
½ dodges

sum : just talking. he’s trying to piss off antiope as she tries to do the same to him

Stock: HumbleBeez | Nathan Anderson | Tom Barrett
Table and Coding: Raven

Tag: @[Caelian]

#11
She twists and turns, never lingering in one spot in the air for long. A dizzying display of a gold and bronze canvas, with teasing glimpses of old wounds of past battles peeking from underneath the dark steel that hugged Antiope like a second skin. The dark steel glinted in the pale Vinter sunlight, showing that it is well maintained despite its years of service. Sure, she could have gotten a new set of armor long ago - but why? This suit was still good; it was tested and true, standing strong against the metaphorical storms the pegasus had endured over and over again. Though it had darkened with age and blood, Antiope saw it as a physical manifestation of her own metamorphosis through her decade-long life. Where she would have once entertained such impertinent behavior from an annoying pest like the young sovereign, now she would not. Where she had once been good and wholesome, without a dark blemish to stain her soul, now...

Now, it was very different. Even her eyes, the burning gems of garnet flecked with orange and gold like chips of fire opal, belied a menacing edge to the former general.

Antiope sneers at the young king, turning away from him. "You do not listen, boy," she snarled as she dipped, swooping underneath Caelian. With a single swish of her wings, she soars back up around to his side once more. Her mouth comes dangerously close to Caelian's face, though she does not lash out. No, she would get her satisfaction elsewhere - not from a piss poor strike to the face. There was no honor there. "So arrogant. Everything must be about you, hmm?" Her words are mocking and accompanied by a scowl. "Now you ask my name? Such poor manners, little king. I am Antiope, a general, an Emperor - I have been leading men to victories long before you even born." Antiope glides away from Caelian again, darting away to float beyond his reach. She turns towards him with a flourish of feathers and golden locks, with a grin that did not reach her eyes.

"Oh, I think I do," she answers scornfully with eyes burning like embers. "A child who thinks himself competent, even though he runs. A boy untested, untrained, ill-equipped to lead. You are lucky to be so young. Maybe you can learn." The steady beat of her wings keeping her aloft keeps her grounded as she itches to throttle him, to clear the cotton from his ears. The urge to move beyond this mockery of a fight was strong, and the desire to stomp out the rest of the young stallion's tantrum was even stronger.

With a snap of her wings to push her forward, Antiope dives toward Caelian with a determined gleam in her eyes. Here in the air she can move faster, be more agile, though she has no intention to continue this dance in the air. She tucks her wings tight to her sides before she descends towards Caelian, her blood roaring in her ears. Antiope's jaws part plunges toward Caelian, snapping shut as the pegasus aimed to clamp down upon whatever part of Caelian she can grab hold of. She clenches her teeth after the snap, aiming to tighten her hold of whatever she may have captured in her bite. Antiope yanks sharply, banking forward to drag herself and whatever she might have grasped with her. With gravity as her aid, the mare lets her weight pull her into a disorienting freefall towards the earth.

Antiope was determined to end this once and for all.

tagged: Caelian
BREAKDOWN:

Attacks: 5/5
Defense: 1/2

Summary: Tired of the pointless chit-chat, Antiope descends upon Caelian. Hoping to bite down upon whatever she can, Antiope gives a sharp yank before banking towards the ground. Allowing her body weight and gravity to aid her, Antiope hopes to drag Caelian down to earth.

"Speech!" Thoughts!

image | coding
Tag: @[Antiope]

#12
Dark, freckled ears twitched at every rasping word that escaped the battle-hardened warrior. Everything, everything about them was a stark contrast of one another. Her bright, golden coat, his dark, muted tones; her fiery, exquisite eyes and his sharp, oceanic hues. Even their voices opposed one another; the rasp of hers and the smooth elegance of his own were peas in two very different pods. Maybe this is why Caelian had despised the mare as soon as he’d laid eyes upon her. He had known in whatever fate spun that they would never come to terms with each other.

”You do not listen, boy,” came a snarl from the other as she dipped beneath him, forcing him to look down and follow her with half-gazing eyes. Biting his lip, he refrained from whatever retort he wished to utter. There was no point in useless bickering.

As her mouth came close to the face of the king, he was once again taken aback by the now fainter smell of her burnt flesh. The expression that crossed his face was of pure disgust, the smell twisting his stomach. Words fell from the velveted lips of the mare. Anger burst through his chest at what she vocalised; her retort of bad manners made him want to rip her tongue out so she would never speak again. His thoughts zoomed away with him as she glided away. I shouldn’t have to ask your name, he snarled within his own mind. Courtly manners includes introducing yourself, or having yourself introduced. Yet, none of these retorts crossed his lips; instead, his expression remained that of pure hatred.

Again, a repeated word came up in their conversation. She had mentioned it in many different variation: running, fleeing, coward. His tail thrashed dangerously as lips parted, revealing sharp canines as he gazed at her, threatening to snap. Never in his life had he been a coward, never had he run from a fight.

He was ever so glad when Antiope came hurling at him, her body a bullet in the sky. Jaws snapped around Caelian’s lower neck, gripping firmly as he was dragged to the earth with Antiope’s body weight fiercely yanking him down. His wings buffered against the wind. The sudden attack had caused his heart to leap; he lost control over the magic that kept him in the sky. Great tears began to appear in the voids he called feathers, and feathers began to swirl away into mist, fading into the winter sky. Roaring, deep and pure hatred burst through him, igniting his blood as it coursed through his veins. Something otherworldly drove him forward, the monster he kept hidden exploded, and he seemed to temporarily forget the pain in his knees, the blood trickling down his shoulder from his neck, and the bruises of battle. As his wings were ripped away from him and he plunged, twisting with Antiope in the air, his neck writhed and he swung his head up to her own, which held steadfast upon his. White canines flashed as they sped forward, aiming to bite down and rip through the most precious area in a final battle. Caelian was attempting to kill her, he had no tolerance left for the mare. With blood pounding in his ears and a mind far lost to insanity, he aimed to rip the jugular straight out of her neck. With her now over him as he fell faster, he intended for gravity to allow him the pleasure of ripping the vital vein from her cervix, along with any muscle, nerves, and tendons that would come along with it.

[ tags ] Antiope
[ words ] 611
[ ooc ]

⅘ attacks
½ dodges

sum : he is dragged down by antiope, but as her attack gave him a slight scare, he looses his wings in the process and they melt away into the air. her wings would slow her decend, but as he has nothing left, he is plummeting faster than she is and ends up lower than her. he aims to bite her neck and use the gravity of his fall and sharpness of his teeth to rip out her jugular.

Stock: HumbleBeez | Nathan Anderson | Tom Barrett
Table and Coding: Raven

Tag: @[Caelian]

#13
In the freefall back to earth, Antiope is aware of a plethora of things. She knows that blood is trickling up from the slice across her eye, likely disappearing into her windswept hair, staining the gold spun locks with a pale red. She can feel the muscles of her chest protesting her burst of energy, already bruising from Caelian's earlier kick-off. The singed skin underneath her armor from his first attack burns, pulling uncomfortably against the steel that encases her frame. None of it matters, however. She can tend to her wounds later, after all; none of them were too dire to worry about at the present moment. The pegasus blinks furiously, trying to ignore the caustic pain of blood trickling into her eye again. There's too much at stake to let her eyesight fail her now, especially as she's plummeting down to earth.

There's a sick sense of satisfaction when her teeth grab hold of flesh. She had never been one to take pleasure in inflicting pain and suffering upon another or had ever enjoyed the tang of blood upon her tongue. She would sooner spit Caelian's silver blood on to the ground than take pleasure in its tangy essence if she was not determined to see her attack through. Antiope feels no fear despite rapidly spiraling towards the ground: it's a move she's done countless times, one beaten into her since her youthful days in the army. Watching his ethereal wings sputter into nothingness, feathers made out of magic floating away from them as their descent began. His surprise and anger only please Antiope further, her heated gaze gleaming with satisfaction.

Finally, a fight!

With the ground coming in at a dizzying pace, fiery opals catch the young king writhe at first before swinging around. The flash of his own white canines is enough of a warning. A glance is spared for the ground before her gaze returns to Caelian, waiting as long as Antiope dared to maximize their descent. The pegasus releases her hold upon Caelian as he strikes, tucking her head as she twisted away from him. His teeth miss his intended target but instead scrap along further down her neck. His elongated canines slice into the muscle of her neck just as Antiope hikes her shoulder up in order to dislodge him or to discourage him with the looming threat of the spikes of her shoulder plates.

Antiope doesn't spare a glance for the sovereign to see whether or not he rights himself before landing, or if he collides into the earth as she intended. Instead, the pegasus touches down briefly before using her legs to catapult back into the sky. Antiope ignores the searing pain along her neck as blood flows from the wounds Caelian inflicting, running in thin rivulets down her shoulder and leg as she takes to the air once more. She aims to place distance between herself and Caelian regardless of the circumstances of his landing before turning in the air and allowing her gaze to peer upon what may have become of the young king.

tagged: Caelian
BREAKDOWN:

Attacks: 5/5
Defense: 1.5/2

Summary: Antiope partially dodges Caelian's aimed attack; taking his bite to a fleshier, less important part of her neck before hiking her shoulder up to dislodge him. Antiope lands but springboards back up into the air, paying no mind to the fact that she’s bleeding. She intends on getting some space between them and then turns to look at Caelian.

"Speech!" Thoughts!

image | coding
Tag: @[Antiope]

#14
Teeth slip off the grey stallion’s taunt neck, and as he came up for his bite, he felt his own fangs snap on thin air and warm flesh. A low growl resonates up through his throat and out his mouth as he quickly took in the speed at which he was falling and her mid-air movements. He would’ve had to be faster to snap down upon what he wished, and instead, his teeth dragged down her neck, ripping through nerves and small muscles but never creating lasting damage. Her attempt to dislodge him was dismissed as he simply let go, canines slipping from her throat as he snarls at her, red blood filling his mouth. As he slips out of the range of her body, his mistinted tongue reached up and ran along blood-painted teeth. It felt like slow motion as he plunged the remaining distance to the ground and hit soft snow with a loud thud, his already muddied side becoming slightly muddier. A small crack resounded in the king’s ears, and a pained groan bubbled out of him. Surely, he had broken a rib.

Laying upon his side, he had full view of Antiope’s actions above him. He saw her quickly touch down upon the ground, before bursting forth, rocketing into the sky once again with the power of her hind legs and strong wings. Wind whipped his mane as his eyes followed her ascending body. A degranged and bedraggled roar scraped out from Caelian’s throat as he watched her. The hypocrite! She toyed with him, called him a coward with no honour, and what was she doing? Retreating! Her blood dripped out of the edge of his mouth as he looked up, but he didn’t seem to acknowledge its presence. He was watching her with hatred beyond what should be felt by a normal equine. It felt as if his chest was going to burst as she flipped in the air and gazed down at his form. Aching all over, he dared not to try to stand. Yet, there seemed no need; his anger had overcome him. His body began to spark, as if lit from the inside out. Electricity built around him, growing over his body as he lost all control over his arcana. The shield-like bubble of pure electricity around him suddenly exploded, and everything within ten feet was fried to ashes in the blast. The king himself screamed in pain and rage as he convulsed on the muddy, snowy ground.

Suddenly, he lay still, his chest heaving as great breaths escaped his elegant muzzle. His breathing was rapid; it hurt him to expand his diaphragm. Laying upon his left side, his right eye glanced up to the warrior in the sky above him to see what had become of her, before breathing a sigh and gently closing his eyes. All his anger had melted away in the blast of pure and uncontrolled electricity, as did his energy. He lay in pain, agony, and emptiness. In this time, his mind drifted to Luna. What would become of her if he didn’t make it out of this? Yet, surely, Antiope was tired of this fight as much as Caelian was. He lifted his head once again and turned his eyes towards her, watching her with a suddenly defiant expression. His ears twitched forward, would she speak or would she flee? Only time would tell.

[ tags ] Antiope
[ words ] 568
[ ooc ]

5/5 attacks
1/2 dodges

caelian falls from the height at which they were fighting and hits the ground hard, breaking a rib. he, in his anger at her retreating form, loses all control over his arcana and simply explodes, singing everything within ten feet of his body to ashes. the uncontrolled explosion of his arcana caused him a great deal of inner pain and he convulses against it, then lays extremely worn and out of breath upon the ground.

Stock: HumbleBeez | Nathan Anderson | Tom Barrett
Table and Coding: Raven

Tag: @[Caelian]

#15

Antiope vs Caelian


sovereign challenge

judge one


Antiope:
Believability – 8/10

There is a nuance to Antiope’s approach that I find quite refreshing. Rather than being blinded simply by ambition and disdain for another character, you took an even bigger event – Espen’s death – and transformed it into a motivational tool. As far as challenge intros go, I really enjoyed reading that string of thought in Antiope’s earlier posts; it displayed clear development of character. Furthermore, Antiope carried this inspiration throughout the battle and it bled into how she approached her attacks. I found this an impeccable example of the player’s understanding of their own character.

Creativity – 8/10

There were moments of high energy that you created and built up upon that at times seemed to stumble away at the end. A particular example being in the third post, “Antiope found footing to twist away from the bolt as it came at her...Well, mostly.” I felt as if there was a better way to approach that she had almost made it way but it had failed. Keep the intensity of the other verbiage around it, and I would have thought it better quality. But in the same post, I was glad to see that you had come to the conclusion not to ignore the fact Antiope’s armor would absorb the electrical current and let it do somewhat the intended damage. Plus, the touch of aftershock tremors was nice.

Quality – 8/10

I struggled with a bit of Antiope’s movements as well. One example being “She drew close before planting her hooves, lifting her powerful frame up in a rear. Reaching over the young stallion's withers, she opened her mouth to bear her pearly white teeth before striking”. The image in my head may not have translated correctly. In the end the summary allowed me to understand, but if it had not been there I would have been confused.

In other aspects, much like Antiope’s PTSD, I find myself on the fence. I appreciate that this battle worn mare does suffer from it and you wanted to illustrate that in a moment that would almost definitely trigger her, but I found that her own burning flesh causing her to hallucinate after the initial shock a missed mark. Perhaps the flashback would have been better suited as she was struck and the smell wafted while still in progression.

Total - 24/30

Caelian:
Believability – 7/10

There were points in the actual fighting portion of the thread that I struggled to envision. One particular point early on being “Twisting strangely in the air, his front hooves collided horribly with the softened ground, knees buckling slightly as Caelian nearly lost his balance…” in Caelian’s very first battle post and in one of his later where he tried to kick off of Antiope’s chest. I don’t believe the logistics worked in your favor there. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it, and I think it had to do more with over explanation. Sometimes detail can harm quality where a simple “he braced against/fell to/crumbled down/etc to the ground” could have worked just as effectively without bogging a reader down with a complicated tumble. However, in this very same post, I found it ingenious to use Antiope’s armored advantage against her via Caelian’s electrical arcana. Well done.

Creativity – 6/10

Furthermore, I felt like Caelian spent a lot of time airborne/tumbling from the attacks, and this to me illustrated the image of a sovereign… well, essentially losing. Perhaps this was an intentional device you used to illustrate the size comparison between the two characters, but I found some of the backlash from the hits he took to be quite dramatic or intense. Albeit realistic, there were times I almost questioned if the battle was already won before judging commenced.

On a more writing centric point, I found your use of vocabulary both a blessing and a curse. There were terms that were dropped in in place of others that had me scratching my head or broke the immersion for me. A great example of what I mean can be found in this example: “pummeled the air”. I’m assuming you were looking for a word other than beat – but pummel is more of the act of beating something in with force, with punches, and doesn’t work as well as taking flight with wings. Another one, especially, being “cervix”, though I will no be offering the definition here. Sometimes the “different” term isn’t always the best term. I’d be careful to make sure the word you’ve selected works by reading its definition first – it’ll help cure reader confusion in the end game.

Quality – 6/10

First and foremost I want to applaud you on the use of all the available tools that Fimbulvetr has to offer. Not only did you utilize your soft arcana where applicable while also remaining within reasonable limits, you also displayed a thorough understanding of the vast expanse of the Ambrosius hold by using an NPC to draw Caelian’s attention to Antiope’s challenge. We at Fim always encourage our players to use what is given to them and moving through the thread it was clear you had this understanding. Bravo!

There were points where I thought you lost the momentum of the battle in the storytelling aspect. An example I pulled is “… he’d lost her. Then, he saw her dart….” This broke the intro you’d worked so hard to cultivate and almost felt like a hiccup. That ‘Then’ really soured what you were going for. Also, I was confused why he thought Espen chose him for the throne during the long breather in the center of the thread – he ascended to an empty throne? Espen was not necessarily involved. But, the fact that Caelian thinks so is an interesting character device.

Total - 19/30

judge two


Antiope

Quality: 6.5/10

Antiope’s motivation seemed a bit fuzzy to me; she claims Caelian’s cowardice is her motivation for wanting to take over Ambrosius despite only seeing him once and knowing nothing of him. Despite this, the posts were well-written with few errors and helped progress the battle. What pulled me out of the fight was the lack of depth to her character...she appeared single-minded in a way that did not boost her position.

Believability: 6/10

For an equine of her size, you did a decent job portraying how this impacts her abilities through making her quicker in the air. Given this fact though, I would have enjoyed seeing a greater effort on her part to move (and keep) this battle into the sky instead of using it solely for aerial attacks. In regards to the burns sustained from Caelian’s first attack, I felt she was too easily able to brush off those wounds which realistically would have worsened the longer she wore her armor due to the constant friction. I did notice how they pained her in a later post, but burns are debilitating even without the added strength of conductive metals and I felt her reaction was too unrealistic even for adrenaline to cover.

Creativity: 7/10

The attacks and defensive strategies were lackluster with nothing making me say “wow that was impressive” or “great use of the environment”. She could have swept snow into his line of sight with her wings to temporarily blind his good eye or even played off his blindness to her advantage. There were numerous missed opportunities that were lost in the attempts to drag or slam Caelian around.

Total: 19.5/30

Caelian

Quality: 5/10

Caelian’s posts started off strong and his character/current mental state were portrayed very well. However, as the fight went on, Caelian seemed to shift into a two dimensional character with little motivation for defending his people from a usurper. Instead, he appeared to think only of himself and his personal woes and much of the insight into his thoughts became repetitive in a negative way. It pulled me away from the action so much so that I had to read his posts more than once to get an idea of what he was trying to accomplish. A good battle balances between action, character development, and the character’s thoughts. Sadly, I did not see much in the way of balancing throughout this fight. Additionally, there is the matter of the writing in general. There were a few words used incorrectly and a word or two that simply do not exist (example: The cervix is part of female genitalia and not anywhere near the jugular)

Believability: 6/10

I struggled with this section for Caelian primarily because of the way I kept being pulled out of the fight as it developed. Caelian’s arcana usage was minimal and he chose to focus on more physical attack methods. While physical attacks should certainly be used, he had an advantage over Antiope that was barely explored as she does not have active arcana. I found it difficult to believe that even someone with low level arcana would not take advantage of an enemy to test tactics on. Overall, his posts were repetitive with a sprinkling of insight here and there which took me out of the battle entirely and I found it difficult to engage with Caelian; at the very end of the fight he seemed to literally give up and it was disheartening.

Creativity: 5/10

I was underwhelmed by his attacks beyond his initial show of strength, the electricity. Though I felt it bordered on going beyond his current arcana level, I thought it was beautifully written and a great way to start the battle. Beyond this point, his offense and defense were substantially less impressive. There were several moments where he could have gone after flight feathers to ground Antiope and prevent aerial attacks or he could have taken the fight into air for a more interesting spectacle. For a king supposedly intent on not losing his crown, he did not demonstrate much of a desire to do anything to keep said crown.

Total: 16/30

judge three


Antiope

Quality: 6/10

It was...alright. Your first post was solid, and for the most part so were your attacks. However, the reason you have been given a lower score is due to the fact that your posts didn't always match with what Caelian was saying or doing. In fact, it was teetering on the line (in my opinion) between meta-gaming and not. Please, be aware of what your rp partner in a challenge is saying! It felt at times if you didn't even bother to read Caelian's responses in full.

EX: " He did seem just foolish enough to come running to her spitting fire and promises of brutality. He certainly did not disappoint her prediction."

I read Caelian's post. He doesn't do either of those. In the future please pay attention to how you phrase things as I do not believe this is an intended the way it was read.

Believability: 5/10

Here is what got me the most; why is she fighting? For Espen? Well, so is Caelian. What made her better than him? I felt you should, and could have expounded upon this better during the course of battle. While I also enjoy seeing the mentality of characters and any demons they seem to carry, the fact that Antiope had a PTSD episode mid-battle was just....no. It felt odd, out of place, and nowhere else has Antiope really exhibited these signs prior. I understand this being part of the character, but if it such an integral part make sure it isn't just being used for dramatic effect.

Creativity: 6/10

The attacks were alright, solid. But nothing wow'd me--with a character as experienced as Antiope, I expected a cleverness that comes with being a well-seasoned warrior. A body slam? A bite? Okay, but that seems like base moves in anyone's set. I was hoping to see something effective and grounded, but it fell flat. Don't be afraid to explore ways to utilize Antiope's build in the future. You were decent in the damage you took, so props to that. Again I'm going to bring up her motive--why? Because it plays into creativity as much as battle moves and damage. Again, while reading this all I wanted to do was slap them both, sit them down and make them see they're both on the same side...because that is what it felt like.

Total: 17/30

Caelian

Quality: 5/10

Woman, please for the love of god make sure you know the definition of a word or words before putting them in a sentence! And if you don't know ask--or google--that's a thing everyone has at their fingertips. It can do miracles when wanting to expound upon vocabulary. I've made this mistake myself and was verbally assaulted by a judge for it so I don't want to see that happen to you. (no for real though, I was called every name in the book because I used the wrong term for a lamp post). But this also makes it harder for the judges to take your writing seriously as is with a teacher who grades your homework. So please, just take a closer look next time and be strikingly precise with your vocabulary.

Believability: 5/10

You initially had a higher score here, but after reading your last post I, unfortunately, had to dock you a lot. Caelian's damage from the fall seemed off--and perhaps this is because it was hard to gauge how far he actually was from the ground. It takes a lot to break a horse's ribs, and it is not something that is easy for them to overcome in the following weeks/months if left untreated. Does Ambrosius even have any talented healers? You started strong in the first few posts, I really felt the irritation boiling under Caelian's skin. But as the fight drug onward, it almost felt as if Caelian had already given up--he was shooting himself in the foot or so to speak. I normally don't comment on the length of posts, but this could have been avoided, I think, with a little bit of love in those smaller ones toward the end.

Another thing; I am all for having characters wanting to talk before resorting to violence, but the heat of battle is hardly the time to do such a thing. You were docked because of where this happens in the post, and not because Caelian chose to do so.

Creativity: 6/10

I absolutely adored the use of lightning in this, especially concerning Antiope's armor! It's something that even I hadn't thought of while watching the beginning of this battle unfold, nor is it something I've seen a hundred times in battles. And that fact is the only reason you still have a 6 here---the other attacks were lackluster, and while I enjoyed reading them, Caelian showed how green he was and it didn't always make sense. Why would he think throwing a rock at an armored challenger would be effective? In the future, try to balance out this greenie vibe so it's not so overbearing, and so that the character itself sort of learns on their feet during the battle ( did he pick anything up by fighting Antiope? What could he have?). It would have been better, perhaps, if it showed more of a clever-quick thinking side to Caelian rather than a frightened kid--even if that's exactly what he was. There is always a balance, and eventually, you will find it. Keep on practicing!

Total: 16/30

Antiope Total: 60.5/90
Caelian Total: 51/90


ANTIOPE WINS!

Tag: @[Staff]